To plan or not to plan…

I recently received an email from a bride-to-be and that was her question. Let’s face it, not everyone keeps an excel spreadsheet or gigantic wedding binder with every detail of their event, magazine cutouts, vendor price quotes, and potential attendees included. Some of us would prefer to pay for the organization to be done for us.

“What are the pros and cons of hiring a wedding planner for the full event planning experience (Full Experience) vs. just for the big day (Day Of)?”

It’s a common enough question and is definitely worth a few minutes of description so I thought I’d share my response with all of you…

First, it is important to know that this decision really shouldn’t be based on only monetary factors as both options have many similarities for the planner. Both require…

  • understanding the vision of the married couple-to-be
  • managing the timeline of events on the big day (sometimes the wedding weekend)
  • managing communication with vendors
  • troubleshooting any unexpected details or challenges
  • and taking responsibility for day of execution, regardless of who planned it

Day Of planners seem to be the most appealing option for most, as you get all of the above taken care of at a much smaller price point; however, Day Of planning has a few extra complications. Remember that through the eyes of attendees, they rarely notice every well-executed detail, but may notice when things go wrong/off plan. If your planner is on duty only for Day Of, luckily they’ll be the one responsible for execution, but should something they did not plan go awry (flowers don’t arrive, family feud, groomsman with the wrong shoes), guess who takes the wrap.

Full Experience planning, on the other hand, is often more expensive but eliminates the stress of many of these smaller details. As the full experience planner, one should know every inch of every detail for your big day PRIOR to day of. They’ve already processed the ‘what if something goes wrong’ stress and have likely created plan Bs for a solid handful of those scenarios. They’ve likely become aware of any troublesome relationships of those involved in your big day’s success. They should be in the know with any and all religious aspects of your day (or week, depending on your beliefs). They’re responsible for being sure you only hire reliable vendors and likely already have a solid list of them to kick off your planning process. Also, hiring a Full Experience planner includes someone to manage your planning process deadlines, manage the budget, saving you money with vendors whenever possible, keeping your goals realistic, and helping you find creative ways of achieving your wedding day dreams.

So I suppose what I’d recommend for most who’d choose to hire a planner is to hire a Full Experience planner for your entire planning process. Does this mean you shouldn’t even consider a day of planner? Absolutely not. BUT if you’re looking for a Day Of planner, be sure you’re hiring a reputable planner who’s been around the block a few times AND has specifically performed Day Of service for at least a handful of weddings.

Of course, happy to discuss further.

Love Actually

…is one of my favorite movies. Not only because I enjoy the yucky love stuff, but also because of THIS scene. I’m sorry, it’s adorable. Any (if not every) girl yearns to feel that to someone else they are the world. That their someone else would be brave and bold and put their heart on the line, and tell her that she’s it. She’s the one.

Regardless of age or time of year, moments like the one in the Love Actually video will always touch my heart. It’s a different feeling from that felt pre-engagement, but still gets to that vulnerable, happy place where little kid dreams live.

But these next videos… awe, man, tears were pouring down my face. This 2011/2012 proposal/engagement season has not been impressive because of the slew of bridal marketing being done, but because of the engagements themselves. Watch and see what you think.

See what I mean? I love ‘em! They get you in that usually-protected, raw, gushy place in your heart.

Props to the proposers. We’re looking forward to stepping up our razzle dazzle wedding planning game not just for the brides but for the ’12-’13 grooms!

If it seems like everyone’s getting engaged….

Photo courtesy of Martha Stewart Weddings.

… IT’S ‘CAUSE THEY ARE.

According to MyWedding.com, more than 25% of engagements take place during the holidays (Thanksgiving to New Years). Wedding professionals know this, count on it, and will be placing any and every ad possible right in front of you, engaged or not, for the next 12+ weeks.

So gals who are single, newly relationship-ed, itching for a ring: prepare yourselves.

For the singles out there, enjoy all that being single has to offer. Does that sometimes suck during the holidays? Sure it does! But try. Try to enjoy what it feels like to do what you want, when you want, without waking up to someone else’s alarm clock or cleaning up their dirty clothes. The time will come for you. Be patient.

For those of who are already in a relationship, it may be tough, but take the challenge to lay off a little. Give your man some space to WANT to be with you rather than feel FORCED to.

I mean think about this: do you really want to be with someone who only married you because it’s what you wanted? What kind of relationship does that sound like? And if you want kids, are you sure that you want that person to father your children? Just sounds like headache after headache to me. Yikes.

And for those of you who will, in fact, get engaged this holiday season, Congratulations! For the sake of you, your family, and your wedding pros-to-be, know which of the following categories you fall into before you start to plan:

  • I love planning and details and want to control every inch of the wedding.
  • I’m not really into details (or won’t have the time to be), but still want our wedding to be personal and reflective of ‘us’.
  • The marriage is for us, but the wedding is for them (family, friends, etc). I’d just like it to be an easy breezy process.

Trust your vendors.

After planning a few hundred events (weddings included), I have to admit getting married felt a little awkward for me. Not that I wasn’t/am not totally in love with my husband (’cause I am), I’d just rather be behind the scenes than in the limelight. I’m completely used to zipping around the event, checking on each vendor, keying into the needs of the stakeholders, disappearing from photo opps, all the while maintaining a sense of calm. But as the bride is the center of nearly every wedding-related event, brides can’t really run to the kitchen to see how prep is coming along. As the bride, you are the distraction while kitchen prep is taking place. Seems like such a simple concept, but I’m telling ya, there were many challenging times for me to stay in bride mode. Like while we were getting ready for the day with makeup and hair, I couldn’t run around to see how setup was coming along. And when my niece walked down the aisle, I couldn’t coach her through it. All I could do was stay still and smile knowing I was next in line.

It took patience, gratitude, trust in my vendors (and sitting on my hands, at times).

For those of you out there with planner tendencies, make notes to turn your ‘planner brain’ off when attending your own wedding-related celebrations. Appreciate and enjoy what your friends and family have planned for you. And do trust your vendors. They do events like yours for a living and will keep an eye on every detail you see as well as many that you won’t. You’ve hired them to take care of you and your guests. So let them do the jobs you’ve paid them for! It is doable, it just takes a conscious effort. Fair warning. ;)

Gift Registry.

Wouldn’t it be nice to have one place for your guests to see all the items you’ve registered for, while still giving them a variety of stores to purchase from? Adding items, editing, re-editing. Married gals out there, you know what I’m talking about. With GiftRegistry360.com and wishpot.com, that’s exactly what’s possible. The two sites offer very different approaches but still give the bride and groom the ability to mix and match the registry items exactly as they’d like.

Of course the masterminds of The Knot have had yet another genius moment, this time registry-inspired. They created the mother of all registry gatherers: GiftRegistry360.com. If you’ve already registered at the usual Target, Bed Bath & Beyond, Macy’s, Williams & Sonoma all you need to do is hop onto GiftRegistry360.com and let them know where your registries are held. They’ll compile the info, the items, and make one cohesive list for you and your guests to peruse.

Wishpot.com, on the other hand, allows you to add items you want from anywhere on the web by compiling it into self-created wish list or registry. No need to create separate registries first at all. Their users have created birthday lists, honeymoon registries, shower registries, etc. They’ll even allow you to receive cash gifts through the service or send you messages when your registry or list items go on sale!